Current mood: twisted!

HAHAHHA.

FUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCK.

BALLABALBALABBLAABLABLBALABLABLABLA...Psykolog blablablablablabla. Jadadadada. Hvorfor kan vi ikke henge nå da pasient nummer 1 og 2 jeg var innlagt med?:O Det hadde vært noe :D yihaaaa
Fuck you and you and you...lalalala...Hvorfor sover jeg ikke? Joda, godt spørsmål...Vel, jeg får jo beskjed om at jeg må ta meg sammen hele tiden for jeg er en bortskjemt drittunge, vel er det ikke litt dumt å legge seg når jeg faktisk er i et humør det går an å leve med? Kan ikke kaste bort den dyrebare tiden min, jeg gjør jo så mye nyttig :D
Jeg fikk en litt syk tanke(whiii, surprise, haha xP)

Meneeeeeeeeeee....Jeg gidder ikke skrive dette en gang til på norsk, bare sånn greier jeg skrev på et forum om hva som skjer NÅÅÅ....Vel akkurat nå stikker jeg, for orker ikke sitte mer her, seriøst xd kunne ønskt jeg hadde snus eller alkohol eller noe...Hva skal roe meg ned liksom? Jeg kan ikke legge meg når jeg er sånn som dette, da klikker det O.o Vurderer å ta frem vannpipen... OG please, drit i den elendige engelsken xD

Im kinda manic or whatever you wanna call it now...Im having troubles sitting still and writing this. This day has been really bad, had to cancel all my plans because I was so ****in depressed, couldnt get myself out of bed and for some hours I planned an OD and I bought new razorblades.
But, oh well, I survived, obviously
I can tell im at least starting to get in a "manic" state...Im diagnosed with bipolar 2...When Im manic Im usually a bit mixed...So I ofte believe I can do ANYTHING, but mostly negative stuff...And also, I can start planning suicide and laugh about it...I can take pills and laugh about it like I dont give a ******. I can convince myself that it's time for me to die, and laugh about it. But it's like Im two persons(persons, ahaha?), cause I dont wanna die, but still my mind keeps telling me I do?

Anyway...I was just wondering if Im alone with this? Im not sure what to do now..I was outside just before, and I didnt wanna go back inside...But it's 2 a clock in the night here so I guess I shouldnt be outside...But Im thinking about going to the gym and try to exercise until Im too tired to do anything else. Usually doesnt work though, cause Im already tired(but i still got this crazy "energy")
When I was walking home these crazy thoughts popped into my head, it's really foggy here right now and I kept wondering how many times I could cross the road until some car hit me. Stupid thought I know, thats the thing, I find it amusing even though I know its sick
Its like I dont give a fu*k basically...A bit like being drunk. And I have to admit I do kinda like it cause I get the courage to do things I usually wouldtn dare(mostly negative stuff that is)

Soooo...I dont know what to do...I need to do something...And dont tell me to put on a movie or something like that...It wont work...I just wanna SI...If I start Ill probably run around all night singing, laughing and cutting...And maybe end up OD-ing...So yea...I dont know.'

Hahaha, det var morsomt å lese gjennom nå, sånn en halvtime siden jeg skrev det...ahhhhhh, man har det ikke mer moro enn man gjør det sjøl xP