Kind Of A Long Way Down

60 watts, brighter than my future,
an empty forty, fuller than my life,
there must be more, sometimes i don't think so,
maybe I'm right. maybe there's no such thing as a brighter side
A sultry night stare at moons from rooftops,
A broken engine, poisoned never dry,
I pour my heart out to a god that doesn't listen,
You said you'd save me. You said you'd love me always but you lied.

And i have nothing,
And i am nothing,
I'm piss,
I'm shit,
i am less than nothing

was further out than you thought
wind-swept and current-caught.
not knee-deep, but out to sea.
slipped off the boat that we bought.
water, water everywhere, but nowhere a drop to drink.
i'm floating, wrinkling, uncomfortable.
i'm sinking and sinking and sink

crawled out the window on the fourteenth floor.
said, "i don't know," then didn't say anymore.
she used the window instead of the door.
now I'm alone up on the fourteenth floor.
But I'm not high. I'm not high.
she said good-bye, and i don't know why.

Under a red sky, I told her, "I want to die."
And how I cry with no concrete reason why
and have bad dreams every night, or every other night.

I feel sickly, like I am lost at sea.
And all the girls I used to know are high on ecstasy,
and they're much happier than me, I think.

She told me things would pass,
like the girls who smoke the grass,
like huffing gas out in the dried-up meadow grass,
uer stars that shine like glass in the sun.

And she said, "Would you shoot me in the head?"
We shot the breeze and had malt liquor instead.
Passed out together in the shed or the bed - I don't recall.

I said: "What better way to put myself in my place?
What better way to get out of this goddamn place?
Sometimes I feel like I'm stuck in this fucking place.
What better way to put myself in my place?"


HELVETTE.